Self punishment

Hi Bonnie,
I first would like to express how amazing your work is and how much it has helped me. Thank you, thank you!
My question is I have come to the realization with some deep work that I have a subconscious belief that I deserve to suffer and I do not deserve to receive. I have done something in the past that is awful and I am punishing myself. The emotions I feel are shame and guilt with sadness and anger with myself. I know this is rooted in a past life and I wanted to ask if you are able to provide guidance. Much gratitude ☺️