A narcissist, by definition, is somebody who is self-obsessed and behaves as if the world revolves around them. In relationships, they are often controlling, manipulative, and sometimes even abusive. Many times narcissists have very specific ideas of how the people in their life show up “for them” and try to control those around them to behave in this way, often times setting unreasonable standards, praising you when you meet their expectations, and savagely knocking you down when you don’t. Many victims of narcissists find themselves “walking on eggshells”, trying to anticipate what the narcissist may want and trying to fulfill their needs and desires.
They employ behaviors such as “gaslighting”, making you doubt your sanity and even your reality. They shift and project their own insecurities and inferiorities onto the people closest to them, whether they are a partner, parent, friend or coworker. Many people who are able to leave narcissistic relationships find that they have to deal with a lot of emotional fallout. They may have tied their very personality and likes/dislikes to cater to the narcissist, and without the relationship they feel lost, without a center or identity. They may doubt their perceptions and concepts of reality, since narcissists often make us question what is real and what is not.
Many empathic or highly sensitive people find themselves at some point in their lives in some type of personal relationship with a narcissist. Often times this is born from a desire to help other people, and this constant stream of care and emotional attention feed directly into a narcissistic ego, creating an endless cycle to the victim/narcissist relationship. The narcissist gets to feel admired and gets attention, and the victim gets to feel needed and appreciated, and feel like they are “helping” the narcissist.
These patterns begin long before we began this lifetime. Whether your narcissistic relationship pattern is a current reality or something you have moved past, it’s time to get to the core of what creates these unhealthy and damaging entanglements. Join Bonnie Serratore as we go deep in unravelling these toxic bonds and get liberated from the cycle of victimhood!