For most of us, our Father is our first male role model in life. “Hero” implies the dynamic of the savior, the one who swoops in and saves us from the external world, or even from ourselves. The idea of having a hero to save you sets up a system of dependence and victimization. Sometimes, we make contracts with our fathers to adopt these codependent roles. We become dependent on our “Hero Dad” to come to our rescue when we are in trouble, so we begin to create a cycle of turmoil to show him how much we need him.
These cycles of dependence can play out in many areas of our lives. You may be acting out this same dynamic in your own interpersonal relationships with friends or beloveds, allowing others to save you or acting as savior to someone else. You may have set up a cycle of financial stress and hardship that cause you to have to go back to your family for assistance again and again. When we transcend these roles we have agreed to, we begin to rely on and trust ourselves more, and we begin to see our dad for the flawed but perfect Creator Being he truly is. This allows for a more honest and authentic relationship, for both our fathers and ourselves!